I briefly tried to mention which emotion and how it is affecting us, affecting our decisions and our living standards on “Being In The Market
” post. I would like to refer the original reference of this post published on LinkedIn by Tony Robbins
The first four needs (Certainty, Uncertainty, Significance, Love & Connection) are defined as the needs of the personality / achievement.
We all need to feel strong, safe and comfortable, right? So, certainty is our first human need to feel in safe and secure. When we know what is coming next and realize what will happen, we can feel safe and comfortable. Otherwise, we can be as happy as we want to be when we are uncertain about our lives. Ok, government, insurance companies, security companies, security forces, banks and others are so happy about that, no doubt! Also, this is the reason we have preferred same brands, products, ways, colors and so on because we are sure about them. When we go to McDonald’s what we find we know, when we need to get to the information we can use google for it and the results always work or when we go to Zara, we know all things new and so on.
When Everything is going good, we feel safe, right? We have everything that we want after all, we are sure what we will get from the future. Ok, so what else? Nothing! Because it is so boring, especially for some people, like me, probably it is same for you as well. Think about there are no surprises! How can you define this feeling? Probably you like as much as we do, right? The truth is, we like the surprises if we want and this is why we want to try new things, take risks and so on, even when we do not need to do so.
These two of the six human needs (certainty and uncertainty work with each other, yes, we can say it is a paradox)
We all require a meaning for our lives and we want to be valued, special, needed and important for others. We can do whatever is necessary for people to admire and look up to us. Yes, it is possible to gain this in many different ways from becoming well-qualified, being carrying and friendly person to helping others, but if you spend too much time to gain significance you may have a trouble to find a deep intimate relationship that thrive on love and connection. Because, they may see us as full of ourselves because they sometimes imagine we are close-minded, have trouble relating to anyone because we concentrate on the differences rather than commonalities and overly concerned with hierarchical pecking order and so on. So, we need to be in a balance, we need to find a meaning, we need to do whatever is necessary to gain significance, but also we need to show respect to others and carry them.
Significance and Love & Connection are also paradoxes. Plus, these first four needs are related with personalities. We all find ways to meet these whether by working so hard, trying to solve a big problem and more.
The fourth basic need for communication, approval, and more others to feel connected with, trusted and loved by someone. As we know we are social animals and without company, we easily get lonely. So, connecting with other people is important for us. Because love is the oxygen of life and it is what we want and need most for ourselves. Think about your love story or what you love nowadays. It should not be romantic or realistic. Maybe you have only one or many stories. You are smiling right now are not you? When we love completely we feel alive and it is same for thinking about it too. What would happen if we lose it? How do we feel do you have any idea? Can you imagine that after all these memories, sharing emotions and many other sharing moments what we will feel? You can get that sense of connection or love through intimacy, or friendship, or something that you admire to do it. If nothing else works, you can adopt a cat or take a walk in nature.
Last two of six human needs are defined as the needs of the spirit and these are more rare, it is not possible to meet these needs for everyone and for special others, when these needs are met, we truly feel fulfilled.
We require to constantly learn new things, experience many things, develop new skills, and improve on what we already know; physically, emotionally, intellectually or spiritually it does not matter. The important thing that we need to be constantly growing. Because, if we are not growing, it means we are dying. As we know there is always a new challenge and something new to discover; it is same for a relationship, or business. It is same for you, if you are not growing, it does not matter how much money you have in your bank account or how many people love you, you are not going to experience real fulfillments and beyond fulfilling the previous demand. There have been always a reason, a need, something that pushes us to learn and become more than we are, connecting and giving to others.
We are always related to someone who we know or not. As I said before, after all we are social animals and we need to be close to someone that is not necessary to be familiar. Because, life is not about us; it is about everything, every individual and humankind. Think about, you have a new relationship or find a new job, what you want to do? You call somebody you love and share your excitement. We need a reason, we need meaning to wake up for another day and share that what it is with someone, because giving, caring, protecting and serving others increase our connection with them and it takes into account other people and the world at large.
Now we know there are some points that we can use them to change some things about our lives. So, review yourself or others with the lens of these needs, asking the important questions:
- Exactly how is each need fulfilled?
- Which one of them is most important?
- Which one is least important?
Besides, there is another review here: Being In The Market
Credits: Cover Photo / Mad Men